Get married and become a mother. When I was a little girl, that was the message I got from all around me, even my own family members: My greatest purpose in life was to get married and become a mother. The messages were so loud and pervasive that I rarely sat down to dream about what I really wanted. What was my purpose? Why was I on this earth? What would help me come fully alive? I couldn’t even fathom a world where someone who looked like me would be able to create the type of life that centered around my heartfelt purpose. I just wasn’t shown a path where people like me could. And did. So, I did a lot of things that good Indian girls do: I got a stellar education, married a (wonderful, parent-approved) man and became a mother. I was even able to pursue a lesser-trodden path as a journalist–as long as my ambitions didn’t disrupt my family life. But in my heart, I knew there was something missing. I played small for many years because that’s all I thought was possible for me. I was told to be grateful because already, as the first woman in my family to do paid work outside the home, I had access to much more than my female ancestors did. I never thought that the day would come where I would have a big-name-publisher published book with my name on its cover. That people would ask me to share what I think, and to share the dreams I have for the world? I still pinch myself every day. But it’s here! And I’ll never be able to fully articulate what it means to me. But my hope and dream is that when anyone reads Inclusion on Purpose, they know for sure that they don’t have to play small. Especially not because of anything to do with their race, gender, sexual orientation, body size, disability…or any other horrible way we divide and categorize and assign value and worth to people. That is why I wrote Inclusion on Purpose. This book is a culmination of the hard work of SO many. I built upon the foundations laid by brave activists such as Audre Lorde, Savitrabai Phule and Dolores Huerta, who risked everything to create a world where women of color would be at the center of all power and agency. My inspiration ran deep from contemporary trailblazers who bravely surface issues of injustice today, whose shoulders I stand on. Then there is the actual team that worked on making this book come alive. And then, of course, there is you, championing it and sharing it. I am grateful and humbled by your support. The book may have my name on its cover, but it’s by and for all of us. Thank you. Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

My book Inclusion on Purpose was supposed to come out on February 8th. I spent most of last year with this date planted firmly in my mind. It was going to be The Day when years of hard work, hope and excitement would culminate, and my book would be in the hands of extraordinary people like you! And then, well… thanks to an ongoing global pandemic and supply chain issues, my book is coming out on March 1st and February 8th is just a strangely ordinary Tuesday. Not if I have anything to say about it! I’m excited to share that I’ve launched a campaign so I can still express my gratitude for your early support of Inclusion on Purpose. Everyone who pre-orders my book will get an exclusive look at my favorite chapter from the book, plus access to a private, live event with me on February 28th! This live, virtual event is an opportunity for you to “ask me anything” — what sparked the idea for this book, who I decided to interview and why, my writing process, or anything else. It’s my way of saying thank you for your ongoing support. I can’t wait to hang out with you! All you need to do to receive the sneak-peek chapter and access the private event is preorder Inclusion on Purpose, and sign up on my website. (If you’ve already pre-ordered the book, amazing and thank you! Sign up on my website to get these rewards.) Thank you so much for being here, for reading this, and for your ongoing support. I can’t wait to share my favorite chapter with you. Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

The Establishment was a women-funded-and-run media startup where I worked in 2015. In many ways, The Establishment was well ahead of its time–we published on trans, sex worker and reproductive rights at a time when most mainstream media were still writing about why women needed to lean in. (I know, some still do.) The startup–like 90% of startups–failed, but through it, I got to work with Ijeoma Oluo, one of the most inspiring and courageous leaders on this planet. Ijeoma’s deep understanding of, and ability to explain intersectionality and how race and racism impact our professional lives opened my eyes in a profound way. I’m now deeply embarrassed to look back on how naive I was to ever talk about gender equality in the workplace without centering race. In the seven years since we first spoke to each other, Ijeoma’s star has shone brighter than ever and I’m beyond proud (and glad) that more of the world gets to experience her brilliance. Her ability to speak hard truths is unparalleled. Go buy her books, (NYT-bestsellers) So You Want To Talk About Race and Mediocre. You’ll be a changed person. It’s not an overstatement to say that I would not have written my book, Inclusion on Purpose if my path didn’t cross Ijeoma’s–if I didn’t get to see her live her values not only on public stages, but in editorial meetings for The Establishment, where she advocated tirelessly to publish women of color, queer, disabled, trans writers. She modeled this not only when she came out to a beautiful resort to speak about racism and neocolonialism to a group of my (mostly white) clients at a private retreat, but in how she drove back 3 hours at the crack of dawn to take her elderly neighbor to the doctor, rather than enjoy the pool, spa and free breakfast. That’s the Ijeoma Oluo I’ve been lucky to know, and I was incredibly honored that she wrote the foreword to Inclusion on Purpose. I’m also delighted that Ijeoma is spending the evening of March 1 at Town Hall with me to launch my book. The event is in-person and virtual, and I would be thrilled to have you join me and Ijeoma for our conversation. Ijeoma’s time is so valuable and yet, she uses every ounce of it to amplify other women of color. I’ve seen her stand for hours after events, talking to every individual who comes up to her. May we all learn from not only her brilliant words, but how she lives them in every way. Inclusion on Purpose is on shelves now. Thank you so much for being part of this experience with me! Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

One way to practice inclusion every day is by being intentional about who owns the stores you buy from. Below is a list of bookstores owned by women of color that have my book, Inclusion on Purpose, available for pre-order now. Thank you, Laura Clise of Intentionalist for curating this amazing list and always reminding us to #SpendLikeItMatters: ➡️ Estelita’s Library: Black-owned, woman-owned, family-owned (Seattle, WA) ➡️ Yu and Me Books: Asian-owned, woman-owned (NYC, NY) ➡️ Epilogue Books Chocolate Brews: Latino-owned, woman-owned (Chapel Hill, NC) ➡️ The Tiny Bookstore: Black-owned, woman-owned, family-owned (Pittsburgh, PA) ➡️ ​Duende District Bookstore: Latino-owned, women-owned (Washington, DC) ➡️ Palabras Bookstore: Latino owned, woman-owned (Phoenix, AZ) ➡️ Cafe Con Libros: Black-owned, Latina-owned, Woman-owned (Brooklyn, NY) ➡️ Loyalty Bookstore: Black-owned, Queer-owned, woman-owned (Washington, DC and Silver Spring, MD) Many of you have been asking where to buy my book, and I’m happy to share that these bookstores all have it! Do you have a recommendation for a local bookstore owned by women of color? If so, please share it with me to build on this resource! Thanks. Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

Growing up in Asia and living in the UK and a number of British ex-colonies, one of the core tenets I learned for how to operate in society is to be the opposite of boastful. As a child, when an Auntie bragged to my mum about how amazing her children were, or how her husband was God’s reincarnation, we’d go back home and agree that this behavior was offensive and abnormal. “Above all, be humble,” says my mother to this day. I’ve spent most of my life operating in this mindset: talk about yourself only when absolutely necessary. Be self-deprecating when you do. Better still, turn the conversation to the other. (It felt natural to become a journalist.) So it was a huge culture shock for me to move to the United States ten years ago this month and find that what constitutes healthy self-confidence and self-promotion here would be downright boastful anywhere else I’ve lived. This cultural expectation has a material impact on many immigrants, like myself. We either learn to assimilate and incorporate this behavior (call it confidence/self-promotion in the positive or boastful/always selling in the negative) or we lose out on promotions, advancement, and recognition for our efforts. Add in other marginalized identities into the mix and we may as well pass out resumes to everyone we meet or risk being rendered invisible. But this is not an “immigrant issue.” During a call with another author (an American woman of Indian immigrant heritage) she shared her list of upcoming podcast appearances and media reach-outs, and I thought, she sounds so excited. But I’d rather eat glass than do what she’s doing. Even with our shared identities, our comfort level with self-promotion differs. It’s also not a self-confidence, self-doubt or (heaven forbid) imposter syndrome issue. I deeply believe that the work I put out is meaningful and valuable. When I’m asked to create anything for public consumption, I put 110% into it. I do not need validation. If I am invited to be heard I will gladly take the opportunity. But to ask to be invited to be heard? No thank you! It leaves me with some questions: How much of my discomfort with self-promotion is nature or nurture? I can trace the influence of nurture from my family and culture of origin, but it doesn’t apply across the board. There must be a component of nature. Perhaps some people (especially introverted or shy people or those who like to process internally, but even the ambiverts like me) are more at ease being reserved about their accomplishments. It’s simply what feels right and authentic to us. What are the systemic implications? In the United States at least, people who are comfortable promoting themselves are rewarded. The Internet and books are abound with advice to improve your self-advocacy; make sure your boss knows how you’re earning that promotion; proactively communicate your success. And it’s worth noting that much of this advice is aimed at women (even synonyms for “humble” like modest or demure are more traditionally associated with and expected of women.) But it’s oversimplified to conclude, “self-promotion is good and humility is bad.” Self-promotion is rewarded not because it’s “better,” but because it’s expected. (The same is true with negotiation. You've probably seen the recent recruiter post about a low offer to a female candidate — I responded here.) Which brings up this point: How can we be inclusive of those who aren’t inclined to self-promote? Can we create an inclusive workplace that equally rewards self-promoters and those who don’t? Imagine a culture in which the onus was on managers to ask their employees about their wins. That’s just a small example, but I hope it sparks your imagination to consider how we could practice this kind of inclusion. My discomfort with self-promotion leaves me in a strange conundrum: As a soon-to-be traditionally published author, self-promotion is pretty much the second reason any publisher takes a chance on you (after the fact that they think you have a good idea for a book.) Their belief in your marketability is literally why some first-time authors get six or even seven figure advances and others get almost nothing (that, and racism.) I came into the book proposal stage essentially writing out exactly how (and how often) I would tell everyone I know to buy my book when it was published, two years later. Well two years later is (almost) here. And my comfort with self-promotion has grown by…exactly zero. Every time I have to do it, I need to lie down afterwards. If anything, the advice I’m getting now that my book release date is round the corner —send people you know multiple emails on how they can support your book, be on 300+ podcasts, hound journalists and influencers to cover your book, drop that you’re an upcoming author in every conversation — honestly makes my stomach churn. I’d rather have my work speak for itself. So here I am, with my book coming out next month (!) Do I follow the author's self-promotion playbook? Do I market myself like it’s a full-time job? Do I say yes to every podcast, blog, Instagram Live etc that comes my way? Or is there a way to balance my authentic self, my genuine aversion to self-promotion, with being a successful author? I don’t have the answer — and that’s why I’m asking you! I would love to hear your perspective in the comments. Have you struggled with this? Have you seen examples of humility being rewarded? What are ways we can be as inclusive to and celebratory of non-self-promoters? Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

We don’t see many models of inclusive leadership in practice. But I believe — and hope — that will change in 2022. Last week I shared one of my 2022 inclusion predictions on LinkedIn. The TL;DR version is that more leaders will embrace personal accountability — out loud. I have one more prediction to share with you: that more leaders will hold themselves — and each other — accountable. (If you’re curious for an example, keep reading!) (What I would love to see too, though I’m not holding my breath, is accountability from a place of openness and generosity, rather than the “gotcha” type we often see in the media! More calling in rather than calling out.) And when I say leaders, I’m not only talking about the C-Suite. Leaders of departments, teams, Employee Resource Groups, managers, volunteer organizations, and networking groups have power and privilege they can deploy to ensure people of all identities and backgrounds are welcome. Tim Ryan has several terrific examples of corporate leader accountability. So yes, I’m looking to business leaders, but I’m also looking to you and me. Anti-racist, gender-balanced inclusive work environments won’t create themselves. This is a critical area of opportunity and impact for leaders to drive. (And within our spheres of influence we can all be leaders for this.) How? Well first, leaders must do internal work to build greater self-awareness, cultivate a growth mindset and educate themselves about how bias shows up in the workplace. Second, they must acknowledge — and practice! — the same personal actions required to mitigate bias that we all must undertake in our communities. I’m talking about: Can we take a critical look at our own social circle and be honest with ourselves about the diversity among our nearest and dearest? Are we only interacting with people like us? How can we change that meaningfully? What type of media do we consume? Are we only consuming media by white people for white people, or are we actively seeking out perspectives from underestimated people in our community too? Are we pronouncing names correctly, or if our name gets mispronounced constantly, correcting others to get it right? How do we deal with unfamiliarity? I also expect to see greater demands of leadership accountability on inclusion from current employees, prospective employees and contractors, shareholders, customers, competitors and society in general. And frankly? It’s more than time! But I want to say too (and I said this on LinkedIn, but it bears repeating) that if you feel overwhelmed by the prospect of embracing your accountability and then, well, making a mistake, there’s nothing wrong with you — in fact, you’re human. It’s easy to feel daunted by a challenge as all-encompassing as meaningful, sustainable inclusion. The mindset shift we must make over and over is this: it’s not a matter of choosing the “best” or “right” course of action, but choosing AN action. I lay out more of these in my book, Inclusion on Purpose (which will be in your hands on March 1st!). It has actionable advice for organizations and individuals alike. I often have to remind myself that when it comes to progress, “perfect is the enemy of good.” Well, perfect action doesn’t exist, especially in imperfect situations and in the face of huge challenges like systemic racism and sexism. But if we all take consistent, committed, “pretty good” action… imagine the world of difference we could make! How do you hold yourself — and others — accountable to taking inclusive action? Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

There’s a big gap — a chasm, even — between knowing that inclusion is a priority… …and taking personal responsibility to drive it. As the great Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” Yesterday was MLK Day in the United States and while many organizations and leaders use it as a day to post an obligatory inspiring quote by Dr. King and then go on conducting business as usual, I can’t help but feel more inspired than ever that this is the year for change. Inclusive workplaces don’t happen by chance. We have to practice inclusion every day, like many meaningful endeavors such as playing an instrument or sport, and even cultivating relationships. We don’t see many models of this practice in leadership. Think about how many leaders pay lip service to inclusion, then a few months later a news story breaks about toxic work culture, microaggressions, or turnover at their organizations? Cue MLK Jr. quote on any business leader’s social media. But that’s no longer acceptable. It’s 2022, everyone. Empty words are so last year. The buck for inclusion stops with every one of us — especially when we’re in positions of power and privilege. Yes, I’m talking about leaders, but not just in the C-Suite. Leaders of departments, teams, Employee Resource Groups, volunteer organizations, and networking groups have power and privilege they can deploy to ensure people of all identities and backgrounds are welcome. For too long, we’ve seen gridlock in progress towards work cultures where historically underestimated and underrepresented people can fully belong and contribute. As one example, this number astonishes me: after nearly two years in a devastating global pandemic that exacerbated inequalities, over 13 million women left the workforce. Meanwhile, male employment resumed to pre-pandemic levels! And that’s merely one dimension of diversity. When you add intersecting identities of race and ethnicity, socioeconomic class, immigration status, and more, the outcomes are even more grim. There are plenty of actions leaders can take and I am more hopeful than ever that this is the year we’ll see inclusive leadership in action. To that end, I have two predictions I’m making for 2022: 1. More leaders will embrace personal accountability — out loud We’ll see more statements like “meritocracy is a myth and I recognize how structural biases and racism holds back many from career progress.” Or, “while talent is abundant, opportunity is not. I'm committing to create opportunities for historically excluded people in the workplace.” Imagine, for a moment, the impact it would have on you to hear your organization’s leaders declare something like that? Imagine that if you’re from a historically underrepresented community, how much more welcome you’ll feel when leaders with privilege admit this? I can’t wait to see this become the “new normal.” But I want to say too that if you feel overwhelmed by the prospect of embracing your accountability and then, well, making a mistake, there’s nothing wrong with you — in fact, you’re in great company. It’s easy to feel daunted by a challenge as all-encompassing as meaningful, sustainable inclusion. We’ve all been there, and we’ll likely be there again. The mindset shift we must make over and over is this: it’s not a matter of choosing the “best” or “right” course of action, but choosing AN action. I lay out more of these in my book, Inclusion on Purpose (which will be in your hands on March 1st!). It has actionable advice for organizations and individuals alike. I often have to remind myself that when it comes to progress, “perfect is the enemy of good.” Well, perfect action doesn’t exist, especially in imperfect situations and in the face of huge challenges like systemic racism and sexism. But if we all take consistent, committed, “pretty good” action… what a world of difference we’ll make! What are your inclusion predictions for 2022 and beyond? Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

A revolution is happening. I’ve been seeing it for a while, but it burst into bright, brilliant bloom last week thanks to Nikole Hannah-Jones. If you’re living under a rock (or you’re outside the U.S. and busy reading pandemic updates in your area), Nikole Hannah-Jones is the Pulitzer-Prize winning New York Times journalist who created The 1619 Project. It should be required reading. In May she was denied tenure as a UNC journalism professor because some people (read: white people) took issue with the project’s framing of American history to (rightfully) center Black American narratives and the painful legacy of slavery. When she was finally offered tenure after protests and a national controversy, Hannah-Jones declined. She is now set to join the faculty of the historically Black Howard University. There are fantastic takes on the whole tale, which is a sad study in racism, anti-Blackness, misogynoir and white fragility. I won’t rehash them (please prioritize reading Black women when you do. Fortune’s Ellen McGirt is a great place to start, as well as Karen Attiah who first surfaced the quote about going where you’re celebrated). But the saga also illuminates the strong and consistent pushback I’m seeing from women of color against being forced to work in places that will barely accept or (if you’re lucky) tolerate you. Somewhere in the past few years, I too said I’ve had enough. I refused to work with people who couldn’t make an effort to get my name right. I refused to work with people (of all genders) who made sexist jokes, or white people who said overtly racist things: “How come your English is so good?” I refused to work for clients who underpaid or mistreated me. When in doubt, I began to prioritize my health and joy over $. My refusal came with a big pay cut at first. It enrages me when I think about all the money I and others like me lose when we refuse to merely be tolerated. But I made a commitment that I will always choose spaces where I’m welcomed. I know I’m not alone. Inclusive leaders will notice that more people from marginalized backgrounds are saying NO to half-hearted invitations. Rather than bringing folding chairs to a table where there’s no seat for them (thanks, Shirley Chisholm), more women of color are building brand new tables: Rather than join the “pale, male and stale” accounting firm to help the company tick a diversity box, they’re setting up a women of color-run CPA firm. Instead of bearing with yet another trans-toxic boss, they’re collaborating with LGBTQ-owned companies. Instead of just putting up with exclusionary colleagues, they’re creating whole institutions to nurture the next generation of students from underestimated backgrounds. Ms. Nikole Hannah-Jones’ example is a large, visible one. But there are many all around us. Can you spot the quiet, brave revolutions taking place all around you? Seeing more people move courageously to where they’re celebrated, not merely tolerated? Pay attention. Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

I am honored and excited to share my BIG news with you. But first, a staggering statistic: Eighty-nine percent of published books are written by white authors. Yes, you read that right. More on that in a sec, but first…. It’s with massive pleasure to announce that I’m joining the eleven percent of published authors of color! Without further ado, please see the cover of Inclusion on Purpose! What do you think!? I’m super excited about this next book. It centers the stories of women of color in the workplace and shares tangible actions to work towards an anti-racist, gender-inclusive workplace and society. I’m also humbled that my friend, NYT-bestselling author Ijeoma Oluo, wrote a foreword for it that brings out all the feelings. I would love for you to pre-order it here, from your favorite bookstore. It will be out on February 8, 2022. And, if the world permits, I may be speaking about it in your town next year! More on those details as I have them. Why #PublishingIsSoWhite Ok, so now that I’ve shared my big news, we should talk about publishing being so white. There are many reasons–racism chief among them–why people of color, particularly women of color, don’t get top book deals: Eighty-five percent of publishing decision makers are white. White leaders promote other white people’s books. White-run media gives white authors prime television/website/radio/podcast coverage. The racial wealth gap and racist access to disposable income. One in seven white American families are millionaires vs. one in fifty Black families. But the most insidious reason why people of color don’t get book deals is because too many people subscribe to the myth of meritocracy. “If a book was good enough, no matter the author’s skin color, it would be a bestseller,” we think. “Audiences choose not to read these books.” I address this false narrative and many more in my book. And you know what helps change this narrative? Data. Like pre-order numbers, which tells publishers whether a book has the potential to sell or not. So please consider pre-ordering a copy here. And maybe one for a friend whose birthday is in February (like mine!)? Or any other month of the year? There’s also a lot of words that didn’t make the cut in the book. Make sure you are subscribed to get this exclusive access to this “extra” content, like interviews with amazing leaders (including Ijeoma) and more. I’ll also run giveaways for you to get signed copies on the day it releases! Stay tuned, please. Thanks for doing your part to show that there is, indeed, demand for the words of women of color. Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

I’m writing to you from Singapore, where I’m sinking into the comfort of my family and home country like a bath. I hope wherever you’re reading this from, you’re feeling supported, hopeful, and having moments of joy, like me. This year was an absolute whirlwind! Sometimes it feels like it happened in the blink of an eye, but as I reflect back on the highlights I’m astounded and humbled by the opportunities 2021 gave me. I am so grateful for your support around these milestones. To name a few: My book Inclusion on Purpose comes out in less than two months! Click the link to place a preorder from your favorite bookstore. Maybe one for a friend too? THANK YOU! Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome (which I co-write with Jodi-Ann Burey) went viral, earning over one million views I joined Brené Brown as a guest on her podcast Dare to Lead with Jodi-Ann to discuss imposter syndrome (I found out last week our episode is on Spotify’s list of 20 best podcast episodes in 2021!) Becoming a regular contributor to the New York Times was a dream come true in itself, more so to cover topics dear to me like colorism, the experience of women of color in the workplace, and collaborating on an investigative story with journalist extraordinaire Alisha Haridasani Gupta Speaking at organizations like Pixar, NASA, Google, and more Although I’m proud of these achievements, your individual notes of solidarity and connection will always stand out to me as among the brightest moments this year. Truly, I cherish every single one of your notes, direct messages, and comments. Thank you. I am also so grateful for an amazing team of support, including Eva Jannotta, Jasmine Barta, Sydney Curry, Meredith Salmon, Vanessa Arias, La’Kita Williams, Ijeoma Oluo, the teams at MIT Press, Carol Mann Agency and ARC Literary Agency, Cave Henricks, all the amazing writers and editors I’ve been lucky to work with, everyone who advocated for me to speak at their organizations, and all our partners and clients. No one achieves anything alone! Speaking of not achieving anything alone, I’ve created a list of referral partners who are amazing Diversity, Equity and Inclusion practitioners. Check out their work and follow them! If I can leave you with one final “call to action” this year, it’s this: Rest. Yes, truly! It’s gift-giving season, and I can think of no better gift to give ourselves than rest. In a culture that prizes productivity over nearly everything, prioritizing rest is indeed a radical act. That’s what I’ll be doing for the rest of this year. I’ll be back in early January to share why I believe 2022 is the year even skeptics will believe in diversity, equity, inclusion and take personal responsibility to make change. But for now, picture me taking walks with my son, laughing with my family and childhood friends, indulging in baby niece cuddles, eating enough hawker centre food to last me the year ahead, reading on the sofa, and consuming way too much of my mum’s biryani (which I paid homage to on Brené Brown’s podcast.) Thank you so much for being on this journey with me. Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

My life’s purpose is to share stories that are underreported and overlooked. So for this letter, I’m turning over the keys to Jasmine Barta, my incredible website and newsletter designer. Growing up, my family and I would take a road trip from New Mexico to Arizona to visit my grandparents at least once a year. And every year the same CDs played over the car speakers. (My parents are fond of the oldies.) One year, when I was a teenager, "It's a Man's Man's Man's World" by James Brown played as it had the year before, and the year before that, during our trips. But this time the lyrics struck me differently: “This is a man's world This is a man's world But it would be nothing, nothing Without a woman or a girl” The lyrics rang true. It did feel like a man’s world, though I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. And the world wouldn’t be anything without the strong, beautiful, talented women I knew and looked up to… so why did it still feel like a man’s world? Over 10 years later a moment resurfaced that memory and made it all click into place with a startling clarity. It was almost like a retroactive realization. It happened when I read “Meeting Harry Styles and what it taught me about ‘gender contamination’ in business” by Katrine Marçal. She detailed her experience attending a press junket for the film Dunkirk: “The room was a bit chilly and most of the female journalists started putting cardigans and coats on. If you are familiar with the work of Caroline Criado Perez (which you all should be) you know that air conditioning temperature is often set based on a formula developed around the metabolic resting rate of the average forty-year old man. This is usually too cold for the average woman. Then Harry Styles came in.” In her story, Styles was the only man who noticed that the women looked cold and immediately asked if the heating could be turned up. He even tried to do it himself when no one acted upon it. But that brings me back to my realization I had when I read her piece: that men are the default. Despite all I know about sexism, ageism, and gender inequality and biases in the workforce,(and I’m still learning) it had still never truly occured to me that it extended so far beyond our careers. We live in a world that was built for men. The author Marçal cited earlier, Caroline Criado Perez, has collected a lot of data on this subject for her book, Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men. And it goes way beyond the standard office temperature catering to men. The research ranges from annoying (I can’t reach the top shelves in my kitchen or bedroom because most architecture is traditionally built to cater to a six-foot-tall man) to heartbreakingly deadly. (Women are 47% more likely to be seriously injured in a car crash because cars, and car crash dummies, are built with the average man in mind.) And it doesn’t end there. Leslie Kern, author of Feminist City: Claiming Space in a Man-Made World writes about how cities, at their core, were planned for the needs of men. “All forms of urban planning draw on a cluster of assumptions about the ‘typical’ urban citizen: their daily travel plans, needs, desires, and values,” writes Kern. “Shockingly, this citizen is a man.” And what makes that even more frustrating is that when men are the default and women are near-invisible, there's no room in the existing structure to design a world to include gender nonbinary individuals who so deserve to be seen. How do we combat sexism and gender bias when it’s literally built into the infrastructure? I think it starts with simply noticing, and starting conversations. What are everyday things you encounter that you realize weren't built with women in mind? And who are you going to tell about it? ... Jasmine Barta is a former journalist and current website designer, social media marketer, and publicist for authors, small businesses, and nonprofits around the world. She lives in Seattle with her tiny black cat and spends her free time devouring books, playing music, and planning her next adventure. You can find her here. Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

Every Monday morning, my stomach would be in knots as I walked into the office. I knew what was in store. My coworkers would talk about their weekends, laugh raucously at inside jokes, talk about how they enjoyed meeting each other and their respective partners/kids/pets/families. I was never invited. The first few times I tried to join in the conversation, I’d get a polite smile or awkward silence. Soon, I knew my place: Quiet, smart, hard-working, boring Indian woman. So, I had to play the part. Mumble “good morning” and scurry to my desk. Look extremely fascinated by my screen–nothing could be more energizing than running the numbers this morning! Listen to the chatter of an almost-all-white office and majority male co-workers, while I kept my head down. No one cared about me or my weekend. To this day, nearly a decade later, I can viscerally remember the feeling of my stomach sinking when I badged in on Monday mornings. So when I interviewed 10 women of color over the last three months on how they feel about returning to the office this year, I felt their responses and fears in my bones. Read what they told me in the New York Times. What you need to know is this: many workers aren’t rushing back to the office for many, many reasons. But on top of “universal” ones (like the reluctance to give up the awesomeness of working from pajamas) is the very real fear for women of color of facing physical bias and exclusionary behavior again: Like being asked if we’ve had arranged marriages when we’re talking about data analytics (check.) Like being told our name is so pretty but gosh what a mouthful could there be a shorter version, while we were pitching a client (check.) Like being involuntarily patted on the shoulder, hair touched or having our physical space encroached upon (check! Check! Check!) If you believe inclusion is leadership, then you’ll be watching very closely for these unacceptable behaviors and working harder to create a work environment that’s inclusive to all. Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.